Thursday, February 1, 2024

Mike Reviews Stuff: London Taxi: Rush Hour (Wii)




London Taxi: Rush Hour is actually a punishment for Britain
losing the Revolutionary War.

Bold threw it's hat in the ring, porting their PS2 game to the Wii. This is an ambitious shovelware disrupting the competitive ride share genre of games. I'm impressed that it presents its graphics two generations behind Dreamcast. Even the free game software kits can't do that. Feels like a remastered Mode 7 game.

Harder to steer than a Volvo with you having brooms for hands. Car will turn on a dime and then turn on a mile of gold bars. Backing up and correcting your path is hilarious. It is like someone made a game out of the one scene in Austin Powers where he gets stuck between two walls in a golf cart. Our hip hop forefathers did not intend for this to exist when they penned "back that thing up."

 The settings openly mock you for trying to change the controls, boldly stating, "these controls are as changeable as Communism in China." Speaking of options, crank up that volume as the artistic stylings of generic horn section #13 fills your speakers. Really puts NoFX and Offspring out of business.

Game has innovative mechanics like power ups and an aggravation meter where clients can complain about the taxi's cleanliness and their whiplash record. The aggravation meter closely mirrored mine. You can change to a 1st person mode so you can clearly see the disappointment of each client as you fail them and send them to the hospital. But London Taxi is not all new ground. They managed to keep the Crazy Boost, which is just the frame skip sped up. Hey, if it ain't broke.

After completing an 8 minute round in beautiful six polygon Thames, I owed the taxi company 20,000 pounds (8 boxes of tea).

Review: 2.5 Mikes out of 5
Prayer Request: For the employee who tested this and said, "yea, that seems right."

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